A glutton for punishment

Posted on November 4, 2011 by Ben Mazhary-Clark

If there is one thing about me, I can’t resist a good offer.  Be it a deal online, some rare antique that is undervalued at a yard sale, or an odd piece of tech at a local Goodwill, I am constantly tempted to indulge in collecting things that seem too good to pass up.

When Charlie offered me a 1982 Yamaha Seca Turbo for free because he needed to clear everything out of his house to move suddenly, I jumped at the occasion.  After borrowing a truck, I hauled the lovely project home.  Apparently this bike has changed hands a couple times in a non-operational state since it was last registered in 1999.  I doubt it has run since that year, if not earlier.  Upon a quick survey of the bike, I found that almost everything appeared to be there, which is rare for a bike this old which hasn’t run for about a third of its life.  One thing I noticed right off though is that the right muffler that is attached to the wastegate of the turbo was missing.  We’ll see what else I discover going forward.

The only known conditions that were communicated through the chain of owners was that there was fuel leaking from the carbs (likely float bowl needles) and an oil leak from the turbo (possibly a stuck check valve for the oil supply…or worse).  Beyond that is anyone’s guess.  After a bike becomes a certain age, and also sits for any amount of time, one can assume that almost anything rubber is brittle and on the brink of failure.  After diving into it, we will see just  how much that is true.  Surprisingly, there appear to be brand new tires on it.

Here’s to hoping that this is a worthwhile project to take on.

–Ben

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The molding of my geekdom

Posted on October 8, 2011 by Ben Mazhary-Clark

We don’t all start out as geeks.  Some of us are encouraged at a very young age by a significant family member or friend, while others grow into it naturally.  For me, my journey started early, almost as far back as I can remember, with my mother.  Though my parents have been divorced since I was about four, and I primarily lived with my father, it was my mother whom contributed the lions shared of my social and technical geekery.

My first real recollection of being introduced to geekness was when I was visiting my mother for the summer in the early 80′s.  We watched Star Blazers, then later Robotech together on TV and discussed the plot lines.  Later she bought the entire Robotech novel series on paperback and I relished them after she had completed them as well.  There was also a computer that came into our lives.  This amazing modern machine was an Atari 800XL.  It had about as much power as a calculator but that wasn’t the point.  Both her and I spent countless hours pouring over books with Basic programs in them, trying to enter them all in line by line.  We shared in the frustration of attempting to run the programs only to have it crash or even worse, lock up the entire computer before we saved it to cassette tape.  There was debugging to be learned, and coding to be mastered.  It was a whole new world.

When I wasn’t playing Legos, or running my Stompers around in the dirt outside, I was on that computer all summer.  Of course, it had cartriage games and I played Donkey Kong, Pac Man and a few others on it as well.  This likely contributed to my gaming obsession that continues to this day.  The games were a nice release from the times where you’ve poured over a couple hundred line Basic program that won’t work, and I leveraged them to their fullest extent.

From the point of the Atari 800XL and onward, there was always a computer in my life, though never at my primary residence until the early 90′s.  At my mother’s house, we consumed three different Tandy TRS-80 computers (Color Computer 1, 2 and 3).  The Basic programs became more complex, and yet easier to manage as saving to a  360Kb floppy was much easier than cassette tape.  From the perspective of the future (now) I am amazed at what programs could be run in 64Kb of memory.  Even the hot rod Color Computer 3 we built up was only running 512Kb when it finally died off in the mid-90′s.  In that mere 512Kb we ran OS/9, which was a full multi-windowed and multi-tasking operating system that booted out of MS Basic.

By the time I was wrapping up high school in the early 90′s a family friend permanently loaned me a MS DOS 2.11 Toshiba T1000 laptop.  I learned what I could of DOS there, and ruined a few program floppies in the process (whoops, so THAT is what the recover program does).  I had the opportunity to have this laptop with me at my father’s house so my geeking out wasn’t limited to just summers anymore.

The summers were still filled with computers of course.  Sharing the latest exciting King’s Quest or SimCity.  However the summers also partook in video entertainment.  My mother was an avid fan of Monty Python, and from an early age (perhaps too early) I was indoctrinated with the magic of the Flying Circus.  The reason it may have been a little too early was one Christmas at my grandparents house, I busted out with a rendition of “Sit on my Face” to the entire family while my mother tried to hush me up.  I was innocent enough to not know the implications of the lyrics, thus I was proud to perform it for every one.  I also tended to watch a lot of Star Trek (any series) that was on, and Star Wars movies whenever other options ran out.

Which brings back another memory.  At around the age of 3 or 4, my parents brought me to the Grand Lake Theater in Oakland, CA.  This was for the showing of Star Wars right around the initial release.  As the story goes, I was apparently poking my little head above the balcony railing and holding on for dear life during the entire showing.  I guess first impressions were good to me, as it remains one of my favorite movies of all time.  The real Star Wars: A New Hope.

Between the constant computer exposure, the reading of fantasy/sci-fi novels, the exposure to anime/Star Wars/Monty Python at an early age, and constant discussions about the latest tech, my geek fate was complete.  Out of high school I tried out a few career paths (landscaping, retail sales, construction, mechanics, etc) but nothing was working out for me long term.  Where was my niche?

Around the mid-90′s I connected with a family friend to start helping in his internet hosting company, cutting my teeth on NT Server and O’Reilly WebSite.  With his mentor-ship I was able to get started on a path of IT, becoming a sysadmin and now a systems engineer supporting SAP solutions.

Looking back, I have to thank a large group of people for helping me get to where I am today.  My mother was certainly key in getting things kicked off with computer technologies for me, and gave me an appreciation for games, geek movies, and sci-fi books.  My father gave me critical troubleshooting and problem solving skills from his experiences of working on his own cars and home building (awesome in an IT field).  Family friends helped me out with technology gifts and allowing me to fail when getting my first start, while mentoring the evolution of my technical crafts.  More currently, I have to appreciate the large circle of geeks I interact with daily on IRC, IM, email and occasionally in person.  It takes a village to raise a geek, let them bud and shine.

Geek on,
Ben

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Great pain makes for great success

Posted on September 12, 2011 by Ben Mazhary-Clark

When taking on a used bike there are bound to be trials and tribulations.  However when taking on a bike over 20 years old, the emotional state of your bike can only be in greater flux.

I bought the 1986 Kawasaki Concours because it was a good deal.  Plain and simple.  In retrospect I should have just used all my available funds and bought the newest possible bike, but instead I went for the best looking price for the bike model.

This has led to me working on the bike far more than I actually rode it.  Since April 2010 I think I put like 1000 miles total onto it, when I normally ride about 3-4k a year.  The issues pinnacled this spring, when not only did a coolant leak start, but also the fork seals gave up the ghost.  My bike riding hopes plunged into despair as I had little time or money to work on it myself, let alone the huge expense of trying to take it to a shop.

My sabbatical was due this year, which seemed to be the perfect time to take it apart.  This ended up being half true.  Everything got apart just fine, however I discovered far more than I bargained for in what needed to be repaired.  The constant discoveries of issues that plagued the bike along with the successes of repair milestones played havoc on my emotional state.  Some days I would be up, others would be down and frustrated.  This led the repairs to drag for many many weeks as days would go buy where I wouldn’t be willing to tackle the latest challenge.

I think that the key here is not to give up.  I learned a lot about myself in trying to keep myself motivated to continue to trudge through the plethora of issues that crippled my bike, and to try to keep it from impacting my state of being.  In the end, I finally have a fully working motorcycle for the first time since I bought it a year ago April.  It feels good too.  I did these repairs.  I made these mistakes.  For better or worse, I get to have pride of ownership.

Now hopefully I can get some riding in, hope to see you all out there, waving back to me on the highways and back roads.  Don’t give up on your old broken motorcycle, as the rewards of completing the work or project is immense.

Rubber side down,
Ben

And for the inventory minded, here’s all I ended up replacing since I bought it, but most of it occurring in the last couple months:

  • Battery (old one died, replaced with gel)
  • Fork seals (spurned the big spring rebuild)
  • All coolant hoses
  • Water pump (discovered bad after I took everything apart)
  • All brake lines (replaced rotten out rubber ones with braided)
  • Carb gaskets and needle valves (carbs started leaking as soon as I got everything else back together)
  • Tires just before I ripped it apart
  • Bar end weights (some previous owner had removed them and thrown them away)
  • New grips that don’t suck
  • Speedometer cable
  • Trip reset knob that was missing
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The folly of a used motorcycle

Posted on July 7, 2011 by Ben Mazhary-Clark

When I decided to “trade up” in motorcycles in April 2010 I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  Without this foresight, I plunged myself into buying a 1986 Kawasaki Concours (a “connie”).  In my mind, I considered this a great upgrade.  I had been riding a 1982 Honda Hawk 450, which had served me well after I did the initial work on it, but my riding had gotten beyond the point in which it had enough power or load capacity for me to continue our relationship.

Given the excellent timing of selling my truck and already lining up a buyer for the Hawk via a co-worker, I felt it was time to do the upgrade.  The 1000cc Concours tempted me greatly, though I also considered other larger sport-touring type bikes in the process.  All my leads failed until I found this one, for a reasonable price and local.  After a bit too much runaround from the seller in trying to actually hunt him and the bike down, I finally bought it for what I thought was a good deal.  I got it home and then within a week had sold the Hawk and took the Connie on a trip of several hundred miles.  The bike behaved ok, but I felt there were some root issues.

Upon getting back home, hooking up with the Concours mail list and doing some research, I discovered that someone had put a bias rear tire on the front of the bike, with a radial rear on the rear.  No wonder the head shook so much.  This led to the first repair: two tires replaced.  Spendy, but doable.

I rode for a month or so, but then the battery died off.  So I had to replace that too.  Then a fuel leak started, and I discovered that it leaked whenever the gas was left in “PRI” or prime.  Hrm.  Apparently the carbs would eventually need work.  The final straw was in the fall/winter of 2010, where it started producing a lot of steam, especially on warm-ups.  I tightened hoses and it went away, but only for a week or so, then it returned with a vengeance.  Also, in early 2011 the forks started leaving literal puddles on the floor, not good.

By the spring of 2011, I realized most of the prior year’s riding had been my first ride in April.  With a block of time off coming up in the summer of 2011 I hoped to ride it a bunch.  I made plans to make the bike reliable and ordered up: steel braided brake lines for front and rear, fork rebuild kit, new grips, and a coolant hose set.  I thought this would put an end to all the little niggles left on the bike and I could get on with riding.  When I cracked into the bike at the turn of July when the parts arrived, I was dismayed.  I discovered that the water pump was also failing.  This has been ordered and is where we stand today, waiting for the elusive part.  All in pieces like the picture below.

I have to wonder, is it really worth it buying a used motorcycle of unknown origin.  Did the seller know there were a lot of little fixes that had to be done on the bike just due to it’s age and level of neglect?  I will never know, but I am determined to fix it all and make it once again a stable steed in my garage, just like the Hawk which I miss so much right about now.

Ride well,
–ben

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Unix pranks

Posted on February 27, 2011 by Ben Mazhary-Clark

Editors note:  This is reposted from one of my older pages.  Goes hand in hand nicely with the Funny Unix Commands, this takes it a bit farther. When you end up working around Unix sysadmins for any length of time, the need to jokingly flaunt your sysadmin muscles seems to arise to shake off the stress of the job.

Nasty banner on login
A cow-orker did this to our admin account one day, she thought she was being damn funny. I was mildly pissed because I had work to do on that server. :)  In the end, it still makes good comedy.

The following was added into the .profile (in HP-UX, adjust, mix and stir as necessary for your shell):
banner “WHAT R U” ” DOIN IN” ” HERE?”
echo “Pls press enter to continue….”
read junk
banner “PLS LOGOUT” ” NOW!!!”
export PS1=” ”

Basically it displays huge text with each message and requires input after each one, then sets the prompt to blank. Very nice.

Remote xeyes display
This was a favorite of IT people’s when I worked at Sequent Computer Systems. Very cute. Make xeyes pop up on another users xsession. Lotsa laughs, very annoying.

Run the following command:
xeyes -display IP:0.0
(where IP is the remote display IP you are shooting for)

Mock delete everything in a user directory upon login…
Try adding this to the end of a users .profile:

echo “rm -Rf ~/”
echo “Are you sure you want to delete everything under $USER/?”
read junk
echo “Could not remove direcoty $USER/: in use.”
PS1=” ”
sleep 300
echo “Just Kidding!”
PS1=”$>”

Good clean fun right? Just the right thing for over-reactive people with heart problems.

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The rise and the fall of yeast

Posted on December 21, 2010 by Ben Mazhary-Clark

Starting the hefeSpurned on by my first success on home brewing my first batch of beer, I soon got together a plan to make up a second batch.  Given that my wife wasn’t fond of the dark and hoppy ale I crafted last time, the plan was to make something light with half the hops and easily drinkable.  That was the plan at least.  I went into Main Street Brew Supply in Hillsboro and let them know my plans.  We talked about the virtues of hefeweisen beers in both American and German varieties.  I was leaning more towards the delicate flavors of banana and cloves that only a German beer could offer, but to play it safe I chose a nice standard American hefeweisen in the tradition of the Widmere Brothers.

With the ingredients home I started prepping by making sure I had all my supplies in order.  For the most part I had everything good to go, except for the need to de-label a few more bottles.  A 5 gallon bucket in the garage with a scoop of Oxi Clean in it did wonders and takes labels off easily within 24 hours.  There’s always the need to rinse them really well after this though.  Certainly didn’t want my beer tasting like fresh laundry.

Then it was brew day.  One Sunday afternoon I decided to take advantage of a lull in our family’s activities and start this batch running.  I got everything rinsed out and properly washed, then started up the boil with a couple socks of wheat in the pot.  I noticed right away that the warming water was turning cloudy with the addition of wheat berries, something that did not happen in my previous ale.  Soon the bottom of the pot couldn’t even be seen and the aroma reminded me of baking bread.  Before I knew it I was on to adding the malt extract and hops, cooking it all into a wonderful wort for the one hour of boil time.  I noticed a pronounced stickiness to this batch over the prior amber.  No doubt caused by the sugars in the wheat verses just straight malt extract.  Pouring the wort into the 8 gallon fermenter I noticed the color looked delicious, and during the next 4 days it bubbled like mad as the yeast went and did all the fermenting work for me.

On transfer to the secondary fermenter (carboy) the color was a classic gold of a hefe, though darker than I expected.  The baking bread aroma continued with the combination of both wheat and yeast wafting up my nose.  With patience I waited for the bubbling to slow down and late one night decided to bottle it up.  Waiting for the dishwasher to finish it’s ultra-high heat wash of the bottles proved to be the largest hold up.  Next time I have to note to start that as soon as I think I want to bottle that day.  After adding a cup of snow white corn sugar to the batch we bottled it up without incident.  I did notice however that it was still stickier than the previous batch, and any spills on the outsides of the bottles dried tacky.  Without much thought I put most of the bottles in a large box and set it in the garage.  By this time it was well into late fall and I hadn’t considered that there would be a difference in the garage from the last time I brewed in July.

After about three weeks (which happened to be exactly Thanksgiving Day from the date I bottled) I put a couple in the fridge and tried them out.  They lacked something.  That something was carbonation.  I tried a couple different bottles.  Though the beer wasn’t bad, it lacked character since it was already a light beer the lack of bubbles made it feel like you were drinking a day old opened beer which was then chilled again.  I pondered about this conundrum.  Where had I gone wrong?  Then later when I walked into the garage to get something else it struck me.  The garage was cold.  Very cold.  Ale yeast like I was using really works best if it is up around in the 70′s, not the low 50′s and 60′s that our garage was running at in the late fall.  Bugger, what was I to do with all this flat beer?  I read online forums for a bit and came to the conclusion that yes, I had stunted the yeast since it was in the cold garage and it wouldn’t really carbonate there.  I had moved some bottles into the cabinet of the downstairs bathroom (just in time for my mother-in-law to visit and use it daily) but it still wasn’t getting enough reaction with my several taste tests.

Finally I resorted to the ultimate conquest of the beer carbonation game:  the top of the fridge.  Given that the heat rolling off the fridge will keep it at a nice toasty upper 70′s all day and night this would supposedly give my beer the kick start it needed, assuming the yeast hadn’t completely died off in the process.  Well, after a couple more weeks up there with a test batch I ended up with mixed results.  Some showed promise of bubbles when poured into pint glass, others were barely up to the fizz.

For the most part, this batch is a wash.  It didn’t end up light enough for my wife to like, though it did have far less bitterness due to the lack of hops.  Furthermore, since the hefe didn’t have the carbonation that people so fondly seek out in an American hefe, it is doubly dissatisfying.  What I ended up with, as best I can describe it, is an “English style dark hefeweisen”.  Not really what most people are usually looking for, so I guess I’ll have to “suffer” through the remains of the 50 bottles that this batch yielded.  Better luck next time…perhaps a lager next?  Doesn’t get much lighter than that.

Brew on,
–ben

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Making a video out of text

Posted on September 27, 2010 by Ben Mazhary-Clark

Recently I discovered an interesting site that will take plain text and help you make a video out of it.  The tool takes in whatever text you enter, converts it from text to speech, and then syncs a generated cartoon video in time to the speech.  I found this mesmerizing.  My mind flashed to the IRC quotes database that I set up years ago and had a small trickling in of content.  “What if I took a funny quote out of there, of decent length, and converted it to video?”, I murmured to myself.  With these careless thoughts, I was driven to pursue the project.

I chose this quick quote off my quotes database, as it was mostly my nutty banter and wouldn’t incriminate others as much.  After creating an account on Xtranormal, I started pasting in the lines for the two characters it limited me to.  Upon the first play, it was less than ideal, plus it only had a static camera angle.  This just wouldn’t do for a quick test of mine.  I threw myself into editing text so the text to speech worked better.  Once it played in a fairly respectable fashion, I started looking at camera angles.  There were quite a few to choose from and I tweaked it all until I was happy, though I have no idea if it was good or not.  Then facial expressions and body language came into play.  I added air quotes, hands on hips and even some devil’s horns.  Awesome.  A few more edits and rendering and I shared it with #orlug with limited viewing and mild success.

Overall, it was a fun project, and I found the tool very versatile, especially considering it was free.  I can’t wait to do some more with a bit better content and animation.  Below is the embedded Youtube upload of the video I created.  Welcome to the future.

Enjoy,
Ben

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Playing with your words

Posted on September 10, 2010 by Ben Mazhary-Clark

We’ve all done it. The fun of Google Translate or Babelfish. Taking in a word or phrase and then piping it through as many translations as possible to get something amusing and awesome. While listening to a podcast today I discovered an amazing site that takes an English word or phrase and then converts it back and forth between languages (uses Japanese/English currently) until it reaches an equilibrium.  I have seen one occurrence where it fails to find equilibrium, but it was too naughty to ever repeat.  This is fairly fun and the results are more often than not, far and away from the original statement.

Find it here: http://translationparty.com

Here’s what I ended up with for starters:
These kids today just don’t understand.
into Japanese
これらの子供たちは、今日だけで理解していない。
back into English
These kids, just do not understand today.
back into Japanese
これらの子供たちは、ちょうど今日理解していない。
back into English
These kids, I just do not understand.
back into Japanese
これらの子供 たちは、私は理解していない。
back into English
These kids, I do not understand.
back into Japanese
これらの子供た ちは、私は理解していない。
back into English
These kids, I do not understand.
Equilibrium found!
This is a real translation party!

I look forward to any amusing output in the comments :)

Enjoy!
–ben

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Filling your mind with Podcasts

Posted on August 25, 2010 by Ben Mazhary-Clark

Over the years, podcasts come and go.  You find your niche and stick with it.  Though every so often you get jolted back from your comfortable existence when you are informed of a special podcast that captivates and entertains you.  Alas, why had you not know about this before!?!?!

Below is a collection of podcasts that have interested me and a brief reason why I enjoy it.  Hopefully this will be helpful to you, and who knows, perhaps you can be surprised by one you didn’t know existed.

Buzz Out Loud – I have listened to this CNet podcast almost daily for a couple years.  I find this to be a great all around type tech news feed for me so I can catch up with my news while I drive kids around or sit at my desk.  Great opinions and angles on many stories are presented here.

The 404 – This podcast originally started by hijacking the BOL feed above for a day.  It’s three guys that do all they can to make humor of almost every situation.  Though it’s rooted in tech news, it also touches a lot on culture and current memes.  I’ve listened to this every weekday since day one.

Gamers With Jobs – With the fall of EGM as a publishing giant, the various podcasts that used to come from there (EGM, GFW, etc) either died off or diluted down to a state where I wasn’t enjoying them anymore.  Gamers With Jobs (GWJ) takes over from where the priors left off.  Every week they put in-depth focus into a specific topic and also handle the weekly news and what they’ve been playing.  This podcast is a great listen every time and there is a lot of thought put into the primary subject of the week.

The Nerdist – This podcast I only happened upon by chance, after reading a Twitter post from Wil Wheaton saying anyone would be stupid if they weren’t listening to it.  So being the geek sheep (gkeep?) that I am, I subscribed.  It has been a very entertaining time so far with the 10 or so episodes that I have listened to.  Every week is a new guest to interview and I have learned a great amount about certain aspects of the entertainment industry.  I have also laughed a lot.  Warning, this podcast is very naughty in the mouth, you have been warned.

Joystiq podcast – This crew is really hit and miss for me.  I do enjoy listening to them talk about games, but I feel like a lot of the time the “Um’s” and inside jokes tend to wear on me.  The humor can also come off as very dryThey don’t feel terribly organized, but do provide insight into the bowels of the gaming industry, and that I like.  It is released on a weekly basis.

Radio Free Burrito – Wil Wheaton’s podcast of random release delivery.  He goes about interviewing people and also talking about his life of growing up in geekdom.  I would only recommend it for the hardest geekery.  It entertains me, but is only released whenever Wil has time, which varies based on how much pay work he has.

Major Nelson’s Xbox Live podcast – This is my big sellout podcast.  Yes, I do enjoy my Xbox immensely, but I take all the fanboyism with a grain of salt with this podcast.  One thing they do have going for them is the ability to hook in fairly high caliber guests for interviews, thus educating me about many behind the scenes activities of game companies and Xbox.  Release is once a week, which feels about right.

NPR: Car Talk – This is a straight feed from the prior weekend’s NPR broadcast of the loveable Click and Clack brothers.  Beyond being a computer/game geek, I am also a car geek and I love trying to figure out what the issue with the car is before it is stated on air.  It is also kid friendly, unlike many of my podcasts.

preGame – This video podcast is a new spinoff from the 404 by Cnet where Jeff and the gang take a pre-look into upcoming games that are about to be released.  I often don’t get around to watching it in a timely manner and it fills up my poor little Nano, but it is fun to see full play action of games played in studio before they are going to be released.

A Life Well Wasted – After leaving the crumbling EGM, Robery Ashley started up this internet radio show.  I wouldn’t call it a podcast, it really is a show.  With high production values, blending in of his own music and really interesting subject matter this show is a real treat in a world of cheaply slapped up podcasts.  The only downside is it takes him months to get all the material together, but they are well worth waiting for.

So there you have it.  This is my little universe of podcast listening and I’m fairly rooted in it.  In the past, I have listened to: 1UP Yours, GFW, Coffee Break Spanish, Kotaku, Engadget, 4 guys 1UP, and a few others I can’t recall right now.  Let me know if you have a favorite podcast you think I might like!

–ben

P.S. – I have toyed around with the idea of working on a podcast for years.  You might say it has been a bit of a fantasy of mine.  Anyone have a lead?  Given the nature of the beast, of course it isn’t for money, it is for the experience.

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My first batch of homebrewed beer

Posted on August 11, 2010 by Ben Mazhary-Clark

The kit my family got me to start home brewing with.Several months ago, I started expressing interest to my wife about brewing beer at home. I mentioned this in full ignorance, unaware of the process or joys that can be had with this hobby. The only experience I had was drinking beer and one quick tour last year at the Rogue Brewery.  Originally I thought, “Oh, I’ll just pick up one of those Mr. Beer things I see everywhere and go from there.” My wife knew better. She invested a bunch of time in research and came up with a local place to get set up.

On father’s day, the family surprised me with a gift that I had to hunt for. In the morning I was given a set of directions and they had me head out to find my treasure. Upon parking, they blindfolded me and led me to Main Street Homebrew Supply. This place was amazing, and the guys there got me all setup with whatever I didn’t have already at home, which was almost everything. Besides the equipment and the 400 page book about homebrewing, they gave me a one page quick sheet on how to get my batch running. The supplies were ready, but was I?

First batch of hops added (Zeus)A couple weeks later, after much reading and preparations, I started in on making my first batch, with the assistance of my wife (mostly for moral support). The process was much easier than I had anticipated, with every step detailed on the sheet I got from Main St. Brew. Before I knew it I had a nice wort (pronounced wert) fermenting in my 8 gallon bucket.

After about a week, the beer was racked into a second fermenter, called a carboy. This allows the beer to sit longer to cure without having to worry about the taint that can be created by all the spent yeast at the bottom of the brew. At this time I “dry hopped” the brew. This is a process in which you take a small amount of hops in a cheesecloth sack and put it into the mostly fermented beer during racking. Then I left it alone in a cool, dark corner for another two weeks.  My favorite saying during this process, “You!  Go in the corner and make me beer!”

In these two weeks, I made sure the stage was set for bottling. Due to a bit of luck, I had a great many Trader Joe’s beer bottles in my house that I hadn’t gotten around to taking back. These were soaked in a 5 gallon bucket in several batches for a night each in water and Oxy Clean to get all the labels off.

47 bottles out of this first batch.Finally the day had arrived. It was time for bottling. Boosted by my success so far in not ruining the batch I casually set to work getting everything sterilized and the stage set for the operation. With my wife’s help, we racked one last time to stir the carbonation sugar in and start into the bottling process. Bottling went smoothly, and before we knew it, 47 bottles of delicious looking brew sat on our kitchen floor. Then it was back to waiting again, another TWO weeks for the carbonation to be naturally created from the magical yeast still left in the bottle. I did have a small sip at the bottling phase, and though the beer was flat at that time, it tasted delicious. It did have an amazing hops kick however, which I was worried about, but I figured it just needed time to mellow out in the bottle, or so I hoped.

At the one week mark I couldn’t stand it, and opened a bottle. The beer was only slightly carbonated, and still fairly hoppy. Ok, stop being impatient, wait another week.

Two weeks after bottling I put two bottles in the fridge when I got home, and a pint glass in the freezer. This had to be a romance, a courting of the brew. When dinner was made, I poured my crafted beer into the pint glass. Immediately I was surprised by the massive head that reared out of the glass at me. Slowing down I got the rest of the bottle into the glass and sat there marveling at it. I had done it, with the help of my lovely wife. An actual beer made at home. Amazing.

served.jpgI lifted the glass and savored the cool refreshing beer. The brew sneaks up on you. It comes in mild and smokey and then playfully slaps your cheeks with hops, and a gloved hand. The brew was still quite hoppy, like a mating rabbit in spring, however it had mellowed out enough in the bottle to not be obnoxious. There is an odd aftertaste that I haven’t figured out yet. Almost like sucking on an old Coleman cooler. I’m hoping that the people at Main St. can help me figure it out, as I’ve tasted it before in another homebrew I’ve tried.

Overall, it was a great success. I didn’t have to throw out the batch, and it tastes pretty decent, though my wife still refuses to really drink it. Between the dark amber chest hair taste combined with the drunken bunny hoppyness, it is a bit too strong for her liking. This isn’t a big deal however, because it gives me a chance to try out making a light IPA or Blonde in the very near future.

Brew well,
–ben

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